Out of Eden

Ever get the feeling that God is just showing off? I feel that way whenever I come upon a scene like this -- startling beauty in a perfect frame. Some people look to the heavens for the divine. For me, it's here, in the water lily, or a single, perfect rose -- feel free to add the dew drop if you're so inclined.

Throughout history, fine arts and leisure have been the hallmarks of advanced civilizations. Beauty for beauty's sake is way up there at the top of Maslow's Heirarchy. I'm sure there's a perfectly good scientific reason for why flowers are so doggone pretty -- natural selection, attraction, or some such -- but I'd prefer if you'd keep that to yourself.
 
In my own storyteller's version of the creation story, God is up there in heaven painting his Garden of Eden  like some cosmic Bob Ross: "Let's put a happy little flower over here." It's Take-Your-Only-Begotten-Child-To-Work Day, so Jesus is there next to him -- on his right, of course -- sitting at a Little Tykes table, playing with his I Can Create plasticine modeling clay
 
Jesus watches God paint the scene above. He tries to make a flower out of clay, but fails -- accidentally creating the avocado, the pineapple and the artichoke before giving up and settling for something simpler.
 
When God lays down his brush and goes into the house for some lemonade, Jesus pinches off a big hunk of clay and rubs it back and forth quickly between his palms until he has produced a long, rubbery strand that looks like a garden hose. "Snake," he declares, and the snake springs to life. Jesus laughs and claps and immediately makes another.
 
God returns from the kitchen to find his son surrounded by snakes of all sizes.Jesus, smiling ear to ear, picks up his favorite serpent and holds it out to God, proud and expectant.
 
God frowns. Thunder rolls. "Son, I am not well pleased."
 
Jesus wept.
 
Then, he took the snake he'd picked out for his Dad and threw it as far as he could. The snake flew threw the air and landed in a pomegranate tree. But Jesus's biographer couldn't spell pomegranate, so he changed it to apple later in his ghost-written memoir.
 

And that, is why we have timeshare pitches and Shake Weight infomercials. And why, forevermore, fathers will gladly accept all manner of ties, Old Spice and Aqua Velva for Fathers Day.

The good stuff:

Allegory
suspended disbelief
open minds and open hearts
local cheese
on-demand pedestrian crossings
lofts
rope swings
water skiing
clutter
kitsch